Pre- Summer Blues
Dear Siouxsie,
I’m worried that I won’t have friends this summer. It’s not that I’m dependent on my friends for everything, or that I don’t have too few friends, I just feel like I’m going to be lonely this summer. Last summer, I spent a lot of time just on my phone or watching tv, and it wasn’t the end of the world, I was just really lonely. How do I make sure that I’m not going to be alone and bored all summer?
Sincerely,
Pre-Summer Blues
Dear Pre-Summer Blues,
Unsurprisingly, a lot of people also had really lonely summers last year. Unless you were being completely irresponsible and going to parties and coughing on people. But the majority of us were pretty confused as to what to do last summer. It wasn’t a normal summer, and things were pretty lonely for a lot of us. The good thing is, this summer isn’t last summer. Depending on where you live, the world is open again, and a lot more things are available compared to last summer, which is great. So I think the first thing to throw out the window is the comparison of last summer to this summer. I realized this just a few days ago, and it sounds stupid, but it kind of blew my mind. I’d been having the same thoughts as you, but I’d been comparing everything to the (in my experience) shitshow that was last summer. Break the mold a little and stop thinking about how it compares to last year.
In fact, for the rest of this response, I’ll refrain from talking about the worst parts of last summer, partially because I’ve already talked about them on this blog, but also because I want to focus on what helped me, and not what made last summer complicated. Anyways, I also had a weird summer last year. It was definitely a challenge, but I think the thing that helped me have a lot better of a summer was structure. I know you’re worried about friends, but I think it’s sometimes okay to just be by yourself for a little while. I was talking to someone a few days ago, and they were complaining about how their friends were being annoying, and when I suggested they take a little time off from being around their friends, it was like I could see the lightbulb going off in their head. I’m not saying you should abandon all your friends and go live in the woods (unless that’s what you want to do- go for it), but embrace some of the time to yourself. Anyways, back to structure. I work a lot better when I have things to look forward to, things to prepare for. I’m just not one of those people who can “do nothing.” So I’d advise you to try and make a list of things you can do to entertain yourself on your own, and I don’t just mean “go on TikTok”, or “read”. I mean actual things, like painting, or crafting, or writing, or something that keeps you productive and having a good time. Try new things! It’s what keeps life exciting, as much as I hate to quote those horrible wooden signs white suburban moms love to put on their kitchen walls (I’m not living, laughing or loving, Diane).
Second thing: tell your friends you want to be with them this summer! Make plans to do things together, even if it’s just getting ice cream or something. If you tell them how you’re feeling, they’ll probably be flattered that you value your time with them that much. Go to the beach with them, or have lunch together, I don’t know- my point here is that you should be together, and you should tell them that. I’m not sure what age you are, but if at least one of your friends has a driver’s license (refraining from making Olivia Rodrigo references here), take advantage of that and go see the world outside your house! I know the couch is great, but you should go and do things. Make a list of things you want to do with them this summer, and/or brainstorm with them what y’all want to do this summer. I promise you, at least one or two of your friends are feeling the same way, and telling them your doubts is going to ease your nerves at the very least. Also: please be safe out there! COVID still exists, so take precautions and don’t be stupid: get vaccinated, wear masks, don’t go to huge parties, all those things. When I say be with your friends, be smart and do what you KNOW is safe, not something you’re kind of unsure about.
At the end of the day, this is another odd summer, but try and start fresh. Most of the things you’d do in a “normal” summer are available now (again depending on where you live), so think of things you haven’t done in a while, or people you miss seeing. It’s okay to feel lonely sometimes, but the thing to remember is that there’s definitely someone else you know who’s feeling the exact same way. Connect to people who you want to be with, and make it clear to your friends that you want to be in touch with them. I know you’re scared of being alone again like last summer, but this isn’t last summer, and you can take things into your own hands.
Love and kisses,
Siouxsie
P.S. My email’s still desperatelyseekingsomeadvice@gmail.com , so go ahead and email me!