Tidal by Fiona Apple
Tidal by Fiona Apple
by Lana Fleischli
Tidal is an album that has been in my life for a long time. Starting from the third grade, I was sleeping while my mom drove down the 110 freeway in Los Angeles, and I was awoken by a heavy beat followed by light metal tapping. I kept my eyes closed, not ready to wake up yet, then I heard her voice– low and haunting. “I’ve been a bad bad girl.” I sat up, listening intently to what I would soon find out was a singer named Fiona Apple. The power she exuded in “Criminal” had little 9-year old Lana hooked. Nine years later, I’m still hooked.
I finally listened go the full album of Tidal three years ago. I already knew most of the songs since I had heard them for a while, but listening to them altogether created a fuller meaning to the piece. She has this innate quality in her music, but specifically in this album, to not have too much going on and really just make her voice and the song’s meaning the forefront of the piece. At the same time, when she does use a lot of instruments, she does it in a very creative way. She uses a lot of percussion, but it isn’t always just drums, which I really like because it gives her music a genre-bending feel. She is not one to be categorized.
Now, here I am– 18 and a senior in highschool. I’ve been writing for a while and I have always enjoyed this album– but why now? Why am I reflecting on this three years after I fully listened to it? Nine years after I first was hooked? It has been a question on my mind, but really, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found more meaning within her music than just the beauty and power that she exudes.
My friend and I have been working on a project about women and music. It has brought up a lot of conversations, like about female rage and why is isn’t socially accepted, but male rage is. We started talking about artists that aren’t afraid of their female rage, and we talked about “Sleep To Dream,” and “Shadowboxer,” and “Criminal.” This conversation lead me back to Tidal.
When I relistened to the album, it struck me even more. After listening to “Sullen Girl,” I realized how internally reflective the album is. It is about love and loss and the things that are the reason people make art in the first place, but it’s about her feelings and how she is portrayed to the world around her. In “Sullen Girl” she seems to reason with the listener about why she is the way she is, but that she is also portrayed in a way that she does not see herself as. She plays with personifying herself as many different things– like a “shadowboxer” or a “criminal.” It is as if she is taking back the rumors or false words about her and talking about herself. She rewrote the story one might say.
She leans in so hard to the female rage, but she doesn't do it in the way that most expect. Her music is slow, but her voice carries the weight and the power. It hits you right in the heart. You can feel her anger at the world and the people who have hurt her. Her music is so intimate it feels like she’s telling you a secret. Tidal is an album that singes at the heart.