History Of A Feeling by Madi Diaz
by Lana Fleischli
About three weeks ago, I performed an opening DJ set for Madi Diaz. It was truly one of the highlights of my year so far. Charlie Hickey also played a set and both of the shows were amazing! They are both incredible musicians.
She played the album History Of A Feeling, her newest release. Her stage presence was striking and really got the audience engaged because when she sang; she went for it. You can hear the pure emotion in her songs, and it made for an incredible performance.
I had been acquainted with Madi Diaz’s music prior to the show, but after seeing her performance, I couldn’t stop thinking about her songs. In my car, I immediately began trying to find the songs that I liked best and played on the drive home. I was struck by “Think of Me” and “Nervous,” so I began listening to them all the time. Within a day or so, I started listening to more of the album. “Forever” and “Man In Me” became highlights as well.
The more I listened to History Of A Feeling, the more the whole story made sense. It’s about the end of a relationship. The thing is, however, she is at the point of not feeling the initial pain of a breakup, but still has some resentment toward that person and their toxic relationship. Songs like “Rage” and “Think of Me” represent some sour feelings that she is still carrying. On the other hand, there are songs like “Do It Now” that seem to put the listener back into her memory. “Do It Now,” is a beautiful duet that asks the overarching questions that no one really wants to ask. It’s basically asking if that special person loves you or not. It’s that moment where you just have to know, and if not, end it there. Be done, so you aren’t in pain anymore.
“Woman In My Heart” might represent her moving on and finding someone new that she likes. That’s the interesting thing about History Of A Feeling, it bounces between time. It still seems to be about one specific relationship, but with ease, she is able to bring the listener to the different times, and it doesn’t need to be chronological.
I can’t help but wonder if her songs “Man In Me” and “Woman In My Heart” connect? Even just the titles exemplify what she may personally feel is better. The connotation of “man” is more aggressive, while “woman” is kinder (blame the patriarchy). The woman in her heart is better than the man that she compares herself to, so using the word “heart” makes the audience feel that.
Madi Diaz’s History Of A Feeling captures a main idea while actually being able to dissect the different emotions within it. It’s powerful to be so introspective, and then vulnerable enough to show that to the world. She writes about feelings that most people shy away from talking about: jealousy, rage, and hopelessness. Her music is so beautiful and vulnerable. I think being able to express that side of yourself is brave and so important.